Vices and virtues

Back in the day, a good habit was called a virture and bad habits were called vices. I mean I guess they still are, the vice part anyways. Maybe people just don’t have as many good habits these days. Normal people anyways. Me personally, I’m chock-full of both. I’ve got more then my share of […]

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Higher Education

Describe something you learned in high school. Hahahahahahahaha. I never learned a goddamn thing once I got to high school. I can honestly say that 3rd or 4th grade was probably the last grade where those motherfuckers taught me shit. Reading and numbers. Those are the only things I ever learned in school. I could […]

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A Pirates Tale

In the reality that I live in, I am a glorious pirate king. Once you’ve met me there will be no way for you to deny this truth, I’m a motherfucking glorious pirate king. I live in Colorado, nowhere near the ocean and I’ve never owned a boat but this takes nothing away from my […]

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How would you improve your community? There are a hundred different things that we could do to improve our community, shit there’s probably thousands. It’s my opinion that our society is straight up fucked and because of that our communities are fucked up as well. It used to be that a community was basically a […]

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Are you mobile?

The answer to that question unfortunately has been no lately. The cops seized my whip when I caught my case and after impounding it they put a police hold on it, claiming that it was evidence. My people tried to get it out while I was still locked up and the tow company told them […]

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Failure to appear

I am absolutely 100% a flight risk. I’m not for sure on how many times I have missed court but my guess would be that I’m nearing 100. The judge, a couple of missed court dates before this told me that he thought I had about 75. I fucking hate court. It’s been a hate […]

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Water off a ducks back

I’ve always been pretty good at turning the other cheek, like water off a ducks back I just shrug off life’s disappointments like they mean nothing. Easy come easy go. I’ve had more then my fair share of disappointment and heartache. The universe has deemed my share to be above average so I no longer […]

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3. 2. 1. Ka-boom.

I am a conundrum even to myself, maybe especially to myself. I’m a walking oxymoron. Yin and yang all built up into one. The smartest retard you’ll ever meet. The nicest asshole. The most logical lunatic. Insecure and cocky, confidently unsure of myself. I’m my own worst critic, much harder on myself then anyone would […]

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