In the reality that I live in, I am a glorious pirate king. Once you’ve met me there will be no way for you to deny this truth, I’m a motherfucking glorious pirate king. I live in Colorado, nowhere near the ocean and I’ve never owned a boat but this takes nothing away from my claim because I’ve had plenty of ships which have taken me on many pirate adventures. Captain Zero has sailed the sea of chaos since his birth, acquiring treasures, plundering anything he sees fit, an absolute lover of booty, yeah I’m definitely a pirate. My days are spent with pirate mission after pirate mission, there is absolutely nothing that cannot be mine. I’ve met mermaids and I’ve met sirens, both of which have crashed my ship into the rocks. I’ve been writing this pirate novel for a hot minute, peppering it with the proper amounts of excitement and sorrow. My nefarious attitudes and activities building my infamy. The rumors, embellished and exaggerated as all tales of pirates should be. I’ve spent my entire life creating this, living by a pirate code, living a pirates life. Forever hated and hunted by the authorities. Living outside of society, a life without stability or acceptance, a square peg in a round hole. But even if I had wanted to, I’m not sure if I could even do it another way. It’s not like I’m going out there trying to be any kind of way, I’m just living my life doing what comes naturally to me. I could stop doing a lot of shit but I don’t know how to stop being me. Plus I once read somewhere that given the chance to be a pirate you should always choose to be a pirate. I will continue down this path I’ve choosen with very little regret and more then my fair share of pirate tales.