Water off a ducks back

I’ve always been pretty good at turning the other cheek, like water off a ducks back I just shrug off life’s disappointments like they mean nothing. Easy come easy go. I’ve had more then my fair share of disappointment and heartache. The universe has deemed my share to be above average so I no longer am even surprised by the shit that gets heaped upon my life. Fucked up shit happens and I just shake my head, barely giving it a second thought as I brush it under the rug or stuff it in the closet. I’ve learned that dwelling on hard times or shitty situations is pointless and counterproductive and that it you aren’t careful you can end up getting tripped up and buried in that bullshit. It’s super easy to beat yourself up over a situation where you didn’t make the right move, where bad luck fed you a huge serving of bullshit or where society and it’s expectations of you left you looking like a piece of shit because of how you handled the situation. I managed to destroy my reputation by the age of 10 becoming infamous due to my nefarious lifestyle and my do what I want way of thinking. I quickly became the kid your parents warned you about. Troublemaking became my expertise. I was all about doing what I wasn’t supposed to be doing. I never found a rule that wasn’t worth breaking. Well I guess there’s a few, like don’t victimize people. Don’t be a piece of shit. But for the most part, fuck a rule. Miss me with that shit. I’m just gonna do what I want. I know what’s right and wrong, I don’t need someone to show me what to do or how to behave, I require zero direction. There may have been a time in my youth where I desired to be accepted and popular but if there was it has long since come and gone. I’ve been antisocial for as long as I can remember and have zero interest in joining the cool kids club. Because of these beliefs I have been alienated and ostracized from society for the most part which is fine with me, in fact that may have been the goal from the beginning. I have never felt like I was a part of this society, feeling like an outcast, like the black sheep for as long as I can remember. Growing up I was often blamed for any kind of chaos that occurred, regardless of whether or not I was at fault. People found it easy to point the finger at me for causing problems because it was easier to accept that I was the one that was fucked up instead of them or their kids. They’d rather believe that their kids were weak or easily influenced rather then rambunctious and poorly behaved, or that maybe it was their failure as a parent that was causing their children to do drugs and get into trouble with law enforcement. Regardless of the reasons, my reputation as a troublemaker has never had a problem gaining traction and people have never had a problem blaming me for their problems. It’s always been that way and after I let it happen the first time without arguing against it nobody found it hard to believe that I was at fault. As my reputation plummeted my infamy skyrocketed and before long there was no going back. By the time I realized what had happened it was to late to fix it, if I had wanted to fix it which I hadn’t. I could have cared less what kind of reputation I had. At the time I didn’t realize how important your reputation could be, I had no idea that one day it may rear up and bite me. Hindsight is 20/20 and standing here looking back there’s not much I could have done, I mean technically I could have gone a different route but in all reality there wasn’t a different route, realistically there was only one route and I took it.

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