Fuck

Well, R.I.P jeep. You will be missed dearly. We had a little accident the other day on I-5 headed north through Canyonville Oregon. Apparently I’m retarded and so I decided to see if I could die, rolling my poor little jeep 5 times at 90 mph. With no seatbelt. Still can’t die. Although apparently I’m not quite as spry as I once was cause I kinda broke myself. I have a broken nose and a broken orbital bone. Broken ribs. My jaw is dislocated or it was. I feel like shit, everything hurts. I didn’t break my legs but I fucked them up pretty good. I also fucked up my clavicle. The cops showed up and surprise, surprise I have a warrant out of Jackson county for that dumb ass pocket knife bullshit. The DA finally decided to file and never even tried to contact me, which I knew was gonna happen so it wasn’t a surprise to me, it was just another blow. So I rolled my jeep and then they arrested me and took me to jail. They did be pretty cool and gather up my drugs, putting them in my backpack and then offering me the choice of taking them to jail, where they will be destroyed, or leave them in my truck and retrieve them from the tow company once I get released. I left it in the truck. In jail the boss pig comes up and asks me if I want to go home. Of course I do, dumb motherfucker. I told him yeah, he asked me if I would go to court, I told him yes. They kicked me loose. So I’m adrift in Roseburg Oregon. No car, no drugs, no coat, shit I didn’t even have any shoes, I was wearing shower shoes. I did luckily have my phone, although I didn’t have a charger. So I’ve been holed up, stranded in Roseburg Oregon at a low rent Howard Johnson’s ran by some asshole kid who could give two fucks about his job or my life. I managed to get the homie to come down from Portland yesterday and we stayed in Canyonville last night. The plan was to go to the tow company in the morning and get some of my shit but that plan was fucked as soon as I called the tow company and she told me that I was gonna need to give her the title to my truck plus $250 if I wanted anything out of my truck at all. She said by law all she needs to release to me is medication. Otherwise fuck me. Are you kidding me with this shit? It was a single car accident, no other vehicles involved, and the cops didn’t charge me with anything. They arrested me for the warrant and that was that. So these motherfuckers need to fuck off with all that. I’m gonna go get the title and they can have that, the fuck do I need with that shit now. And that’s all I’m giving them. And I will leave with my shit, because number one, it’s my shit, there is no hold on it by the cops nor anyone else. And number 2, cause it’s the right fucking thing to do. How the fuck you gonna try and gouge me like that after I just almost died and definitely lost my truck? Lame as fuck.

Published by devilmonkey666

I'm a hot mess. A 41 year old child who still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Or even if he wants to grow up for that matter. People say I'm a writer. I'm not so sure. But it is therapeutic and helps me from going all the way left sometimes.

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