Say uncle

My entire life, I’ve always felt like someone was attempting to get me to bend, to meld, to conform. It’s like when you’re a little kid and your older sibling is twisting your arm, demanding that you say uncle and the pain will go away. I could never say uncle. Didn’t matter if my arm was about to break, didn’t matter if I actually wanted to say uncle, if I’m told to do it, it ain’t getting done. Tip to dealing with me, if you want me to do something, do not tell me to do it. In fact it’s best if you don’t even bring it up directly and attempt to get there through the side door, making it a passing comment, or better yet, tell me I can’t do it. I am problematic as fuck. I am kinda hard to deal with and I’m sure I frustrate the fuck out of some people. I am abrasive and inappropriate, with zero filters and have been known to argue anything with anybody, simply because I enjoy to argue. I am almost definitely not gonna do what you want me to do, simply because you want me to do it. It doesn’t matter how hard you twist or the threat’s you offer. I only do what I want to do, sometimes what I want to do is make you happy and so I will oftentimes do things I’d rather not do in order to see you smile, but don’t get it twisted. I have never done anything that I wasn’t 100% down to do. Regardless of the threat of consequences, be they a beating, imprisonment, alienation, your disapproval and scorn. Those things don’t sway me at all. In fact threat’s make me want to go all the way left. Like do you think that I care? What’s the worse you can do? Kill me? Ha. Please do. I’m not scared of death I welcome it. You gonna beat me up? I’ve been beaten worse by better men then any of you could hope to be, and I flipped them off as I spit bloody teeth at them. Incarceration is a joke to someone who is institutionalized. Fuck out of here with that shit. And your disapproval and scorn? Motherfucker I was born with that shit. I can’t remember a day of my life that someone didn’t look at me with scorn or disapproval. In fact it would probably fuck me up more if you looked at me with love and respect. That’s some foreign shit right there. I have never been one of the popular kids, never got invited to join the cool kids club and I’m grateful I didn’t. Those kids aren’t cool. They aren’t even different, they have zero originality. They’re all cookie cutter kids. Made from the some mold. When you are a kid you aren’t taught to be yourself, whatever that self may be. No, instead you are taught to go with the flow, don’t rock the boat. As a kid, being original means your a freak, a weirdo, an outcast. Going against the flow is widely frowned upon and being a freak, especially as a child is rough, more so then when you’re grown. So having gotten through the rough patch of accepting that I’m a freak and growing comfortable being an outcast, your alienation is a joke. I don’t crave of require your fake ass companionship or approval. Your opinions really mean nothing to anyone but you but especially not to me so save that shit. Twist as much as you want, threaten me with your worst, beat me, lock me up, kill me. I won’t say uncle.

Published by devilmonkey666

I'm a hot mess. A 41 year old child who still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Or even if he wants to grow up for that matter. People say I'm a writer. I'm not so sure. But it is therapeutic and helps me from going all the way left sometimes.

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