Nihilism pt 2

So in that other blog I was talking about how everything is a loop, energy can’t be created or destroyed it must be transformed, so there’s no beginning, no end. Which from one viewpoint, my viewpoint one could argue that nothing really matters. If it’s groundhogs day and we are just gonna do it again anyways, then the outcome makes no difference. Except to you. Or possibly society. I believe this, this loop theory. It feels legit. And so by proxy nothing really matters. But at the exact same time I’m thinking that it also emphasized the fact that if nothing really does matter then isn’t this moment that is happening right now, isn’t this actually the only thing that really matters? If yesterday was a lie and tomorrow is not for sure, then the only thing that we can actually count on is the moment we are experiencing right now. Right? Or does not even this matter? Take my nihilism, my anarchism, add a little bit or manic depression and some adhd, then just for fun throw in a heaping handful of mind altering substances and we are guaranteed to have some interesting conversations. I genuinely believe in absolutely everything and absolutely nothing, all at the same time. Is that even possible? Because with my everything is just atoms firing upon each other theory, it opens the door to endless possibilities. Virtually nothing is impossible as long as one can wrap his mind around it. And so here is another goal/delusion I’ve come up with, I want to fly. I want to soar over the masses. Why? Because it would be fucking cool. And to prove to everybody how magical we are if only we believe. Of course the time must be right, you can just do this in front of a couple people, nobody would believe them. They’d be considered crazy and laughed out the room. So you would want as big of a crowd as you could get. Maybe some world event. Something televised internationally. Energy transfer. So you wouldn’t just be able to.shoot wings out your back on a whim. You would need to transfer energy from something else, transforming it into your magnificent (mine will be skeletal dragon wings) wings. So that got me thinking about what I could use, and I automatically think of my eyes. Ok I’m crazy but hear me out. Your eyes are the only part of your body that doesn’t grow your entire life. I mean they do but it’s such a minuscule amount that it’s nothing. So everything else grows. But not your eyes? Huh? Why? That’s weird as fuck. That’s creepy as fuck. I think your eyes are a parasite. I think they we implanted there by fuck if I know but by something, in order to keep you locked into these bodies. Seeing is believing and I can sure tell you that I’ve seen things that seemed so real they became real. But they weren’t. My eyes had played tricks on me and I was dead wrong. But 99% of the time if you see something happen, regardless of possible or impossible, if you see it, you believe it. Locks it in. I think you could probably see better if you had never had eyes. Appearance wouldn’t mean shit, beauty and greatness would be more legitimate. So I’d transform the parasites that are my eyes and wings would erupt from my back.