The Greyhound

I’ll start out by saying, Fuck Greyhound. This is only my third time riding on the Greyhound but in those three rides, Greyhound sucked. This trip started out with the little foreign bus driver chick tripping on me over me smoking to close to the bus, pointing at the other smokers like I’m stupid for not knowing that I should be over there with them. Then she tries to overhear what I’m talking about with my friends and thinking she hears me talking about her she starts threatening me with getting kicked off the bus before I even got on it. It’s a trip. I’m not a big fan of getting talked down to, especially by some bus driver who is kinda being employed by me, and in a past life I wouldn’t have been about to let this chick talk to me like that without me lashing back with some smartass comment. Instead I show her my e-ticket and get on the bus. I think that you could write a book by riding a greyhound back and forth a couple of times across the country and recording the stories of the people who you meet along the way. It is absolutely a motley fucking crew. A cast of characters with variety galore. From the drunk heading back home to Spokane to bury his father to the young kids on their way to Las Angeles to become stars. You got the timid chick with the wig and the poorly hidden bruises headed to Portland because that’s where her 86 year old grandma lives. As long as you were personable and could get their stories, I think it might make for a pretty good book. But I’m not writing that book so greyhound has very little upside for me. They are horrible at maintaining a schedule, constantly being late. The last two times that I’ve had a layover for longer then an hour the bus strangely goes awol and the bus gets delayed. These aren’t even transfers, it’s the same bus. The one in Vegas was delayed 6 fucking hours and I lost my luggage. 6 fucking hours. Where did the bus go? And what happened to my shit? Weird. Then this last time in Kansas City, the little Nazi bus driver was talking shit about how we only had one hour and then the bus was on its way. Better be paying attention cause she won’t wait. And then this bitch just disappears and we get delayed over an hour. Weird. So now I’m back on the bus, this time not having to share a seat like I did when I got on the bus in Columbia, headed to Denver. The Rocky Mountains. What, up until recently, I called home. It’s there where I gotta transfer, changing direction from west to north/northwest. Bound for Salt Lake City, Boise, and Portland. I get layovers in Denver and Salt Lake for sure and most likely in Portland as well which is cool because this is a long ass trip. I hope we make up the time and we get the layover in Denver, I’d like to see my mom.

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