I’m thinking that when I get back to Oregon maybe I better see about riding a train somewhere. I mean in the last few weeks I’ve taken a plane and now I’m finishing up my cross-country bus trip, so only makes sense if the next one is by train. I have always had Gypsy blood, rabbit blood. It’s hard for me to sit still. I don’t really like staying in one place anymore. I like to stay in motion. It’s harder to hit a moving target. I like going new places and for a while now I’ve lived out of my car while surfing some couches and utilizing the services of hotels/motels. The idea of signing a lease or planting some kind of roots makes my skin crawl. I don’t want to be locked down into nothing right now. I’m anti-commitment right now. I can’t be caged. I am currently unsure of exactly what it is I want from my life swinging from calming down and settling in all the way to getting involved in some revolutionary activities. I have a timebomb tattooed on my neck not so much cause I’m quick to snap, although that has been known to be an issue, it’s more about me being quick to go off in some other random ass direction. I believe this might be my midlife crisis, and I’m not sure how I’m gonna handle. I haven’t got a very good track record with making the socially acceptable decision which has resulted in an unfavourable reputation and a doc number. I am getting kinda old for the shenanigans, I’ll admit that but even with my age, I’m angst filled and eager to fight. I definitely feel like our society is in decline and I can’t help but notice the death of our humanity. I’m concerned for the future of my children and their children as well. I think we are leaving them a big pile of shit to clean up and I’m not so sure we are equipping them with the means to clean it up. It just feels like it’s kinda lame for me to not do nothing but I have no idea what it is I can do. If I can even do anything. Maybe I should just take my medication. Lol. Or maybe I should just try and rest. It’s been a bumpy fucking road and I’m exhausted. I’m battered and bruised, my soul has been torn to the tattered ruin it is now and to be completely honest, I’m tired. It would be nice to be able to just take a deep breathe and relax. To kick off my shoes and prop up my legs. How nice to be able to close your eyes and unwind. Recharge. I wonder where the Amtrak takes off from in Oregon. I wonder where it goes.
Published by devilmonkey666
I'm a hot mess. A 41 year old child who still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. Or even if he wants to grow up for that matter. People say I'm a writer. I'm not so sure. But it is therapeutic and helps me from going all the way left sometimes. View more posts