Who am I?

Well who am I? That’s a legit question. A question that I’m not sure how to answer but it’s still a good question. I mean, I know who I’ve been, I know how I think, I know what I do, but who I am? Still working on it. I’m currently trying to figure out who I am, or at least who I want to be, and what I want to be when I grow up. Most of y’all worked on this a long ass time ago, like in grade school, but if you know me you know I’m not really like y’all and if you don’t know me you will soon learn and so while you guys were thinking about your future selves I was busy thinking about that day. I’ve never really looked for tomorrow because quite frankly tomorrow is just a dream. Who knows if tomorrow will even come? And so at 41 years old, having lived and died a thousand lifetimes in those 41 years, I sit here contemplating a future I never really wanted, and drawing blanks. In searching for a direction I’ve gotten plenty of feedback and people have been overwhelmingly pushing the whole writer thing. Firstly, I will not be writing my life story. That shit was hard enough to live, to think I’d want to go back and relive that shit as I write it? No fucking thanks. Plus, it’s really not a very interesting story. So I won’t be doing some autobiography. Which leaves me what? A novel? Ha. Short stories? About what? Children’s books? Self help? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I can’t even help myself how the fuck am I supposed to help you? So what does that leave? Freelance journalism. I Google searched how to become a freelance journalist and it basically says start a blog, write a bunch of shit on there and try to find a niche. A niche? What the fuck? That’s kinda always been my thing, I have no niche. But they said write what you know, write what you’re passionate about, that’s your niche. So drugs and addiction? Crime? Gangbanging and drug slanging? Anarchy? Are those niches? I have no idea. I mean who would want to read about my knowledge in drug addiction? Why? What good would my experiences with the system and my complete contempt for the government have to anyone else? Exactly.

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